The World is Full of Wonderful Things

Damn I miss dancing with professionals.

That is such a spoiled, bitchy thing to say, but I can’t help it. I am spoiled. I spent the first six years of my life as a dancer primarily dancing with a professional who danced 30+ hours a week and became a national champion. There are four other leads I danced with regularly at various times in my adolescence who were national champions in various professional and open amateur divisions and who were excellent social dancers. Besides those leads, a significant portion of my other social dances were with the teachers at my ballroom and the other studios I frequented, because I was such good friends with them.

Certainly, I danced with other students much of the time, students of all levels, and it’s always enjoyable. But dancing with someone whose job it is to be a good dancer… it’s like what I imagine sex with a skilled prostitute (with whom you get along very well/have great chemistry) would be like, without the ethical concerns. The basic moves and techniques are completely effortless, and creative, exciting innovation becomes the focus. It really is a kind of intercourse, moving together, challenging and leading and following each other, and it’s really fun and stimulating and relaxing, all at the same time, to do it with someone who’s better at it than you, so they can teach you and inspire you to be better just by leading.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my dance partner. We’re great friends. He works really hard and is improving very quickly. He inspires me to get better just because he’s so damn driven himself. We have a ton of fun. But it’s not quite the same.

Every time, I think “maybe now enough time has passed that I won’t be both heartbroken and desperately jealous”. But nope. Sucks just as much. It’s rhythm day and I don’t even LIKE rhythm, but I can hardly stand just sitting here and watching. The only thing worse would be knowing everybody else is here and I’m not.

And yes, in not too long I’ll be competing again, and that’ll be great, but it won’t be like dancing with one of the top-ranked instructors in the country who also happens to be one of my closest friends and favorite people in the world.